Celebrate You!
I've arrived! It's been an interesting journey, albeit a bit bumpy and I'm amazed at how young it is! I'm celebrating a birthday this month. A number I used to think of as old. Actually, the older I get, the younger I feel. I was much older when I was younger. I love it! Confused yet?
I've been asked by an organization to teach a workshop about the abuse of older women as part of a training series. As a result, I've been thinking about aging and all the things that I have observed or experienced on my way to becoming wiser.
Ageism has been described by Robert Butler (the first director of the National Institute on Aging) as "the process of systematic stereotyping and discrimination against people simply because they are old." Like racism it disempowers those to whom it is aimed.
Gawd help you if you forget someone's name. Senility is just around the corner, or worse yet, dementia. Some of us never remembered names well to begin with. The perpetuation of this way of thinking may start with inappropriate terms of endearment.
I noticed that before I was 40 years old, nobody called me "dear". Once I was past 40 or 45, it was used with more frequency. I have never heard a man being called "dear" at any time. It's that power dynamic that still hangs around for women. The "little woman" syndrome you might say. It's so inbred that young women help to spread the stereotype as well. "How are you today dear?"
If you express yourself or complain about something, now you are grumpy. Oh and the big one is sex. You are not supposed to want or even like it when you get older. If you do not act like an older person, then you are thought to be in denial of what is. How ridiculous!
Have you noticed how some birthday cards do not celebrate becoming older, but are purveyors of negativity, implying that perhaps you are becoming less than what you really are. Ageism delivered to your very own door in the form of a birthday card. Oh goody!
I recently heard on the news that anti-aging lotion sales are up by five to ten percent. Of course advertisers, plastic surgeons, and paramedical estheticians have jumped on this bandwagon. It is implied that looking older is simply not desirable.
I checked out a website that is dedicated to "enhancements" of the human face and body. You can have botox treatments, laser treatments for hair and veins, cellulite treatments, peels, frown lines can be minimized, as can any fine line. Wrinkles can be dealt with, lips can be enhanced (why?) and jowls will be gone with the mere threading of a needle. You could have the big lip, stretched glossy skin, permanent deer-in-headlight look. Quick, book me in today!
I can remember back in the day, when Gloria Steinem celebrated her 50th birthday. People said to her "you don't look 50". Her response was "what does 50 look like?"
So, ever since then its been insidious. This fixation we seem to have in our society that we are only as good as we look. I mean, really, what does any age "look" like?
I am tiring of the non stop barrage of the "you-are-not-good-enough" messages that seem to be a constant in many magazines. The irony lies with the fact that they are frequently found in women's magazines. Go figure. I want us to collectively look into the mirror and state that we are wonderful human beings just the way we are.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting to look as good as you can. You can look good on the outside by exercising and treating your body with respect. But remember, your outsides are not nearly as important as your insides. Love who you are, the way you are.
Celebrate your birthdays, show respect to those who are older than you and remember, as Marianne Williamson says, "be who you are when you're there." Celebrate you!
And, uh, just as a reminder, I'm not your "dear". I'm Carole. Happy Birthday to me!!
Carole Fawcett is "The Happiness Coach" and provides stress management workshops, keynotes and laughter circles to business and individuals. For more information see http://www.afunnybusiness.ca Carole is a member of the Professional Writers Association of Canada, and the Professional Photographers Association of British Columbia. Carole believes that if you are not having fun on your journey through life then you need to make some changes.
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